Man Bad-Mouths Girlfriend's Plant Collection, Reddit Reacts

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mattstaff
Sep 12, 2021 10:00 AM EDT

A person's collection of plants is no joke. Plants can benefit one's mental health in beautiful ways. The mindfulness that plants encourage, and the ongoing act of having to care for something else outside yourself can work wonders when it comes to taking even brief moments to step outside the carousel of thoughts about your life situation, that you're otherwise dragged along by. So, when it came to this woman venting on Reddit about her boyfriend staging a whole temper tantrum over her collection of plants, you can imagine where that went. Let's just say that folks didn't take too kindly to this guy's decision to disrespect his girlfriend's plants. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/relationship_advice u/raplantmom · 3d + Join My (F28) boyfriend (M27) wants me to remove my plants from our apartment (which I am paying for) TL;DR: My boyfriend moved into my apartment about a month ago fully aware of my plant collection, which he now hates and wants gone for seemingly no reason. I am paying in full for the apartment and he's fully allowed to put other decorations up in it, I don't care. I'm not sure whether the petulant way he's acting is limited to this or if it's a
    via u/raplantmom
  • 02
    Font - So, the long version. We met in college when we were both 19, and really hit it off. We were friends for about 5 years before we started dating, and I thought I knew him pretty well. He's charming and funny, a good conversationalist, and has a lot of common interests with me. I think you really get to know someone when you're just friends since they don't try to hide their bad traits, and we really have been so close for the almost 10 years we've known each other. When we started dating w
    via u/raplantmom
  • 03
    Font - I really love my plants- I've struggled a lot with mental illness my entire life and my collection means a lot to me as it's helped me take care of something else and myself for so long. I started collecting them when I was 14 and l've had a lot of them for a very long time, I don't bring in too many new ones anymore as I have limited amounts of space and time but I take very good care of them. He's well aware of this and he actually thought it was really cool until a month ago.
    via u/raplantmom
  • 04
    Font - I don't know what changed, but ever since he moved in with me he's been so petulant about having to cohabitate with them. I really have no idea why. They don't take up the whole apartment by any means, they're limited to the areas around my windows as they are plants and he doesn't have any reason to need window space. He just constantly grumbles and mopes about how many there are or he doesn't like the smell (he's actually used this line lol what?) or whatever else. He's literally never
    via u/raplantmom
  • 05
    Font - Now normally l'd be more than willing to talk to him about this, but the thing is I am literally paying for the entire. effing. apartment. We definitely have an income disparity so l'm wondering if this whole thing is a weird response to financial insecurity on his part. I worked hard to get a good scholarship and pay my way through college, and then worked hard after graduating to get a good-paying job that I'm proud of. He likes what he does but he's not a super hard worker or ambitious
    via u/raplantmom
  • 06
    Font - was making almost 3x his salary and I got a slight raise since then, which has allowed me to get a really nice apartment. I haven't asked him to pay- he brought it up and I said it wasn't an issue for me to continue paying for it, and he does most if not all of the chores, excluding cooking which I enjoy doing. But in my eyes, I'm the one taking care of my leafy babies as well as the one paying for their housing. I think I've compromised enough by letting him move in and giving him full p
    via u/raplantmom
  • 07
    Font - Whenever I bring it up with him he totally shuts down and tunes me out. He's never done this, and I can't figure out whether it's a weird insecurity or if this is how he's going to act all the time now that we're living together. Do you all think I should keep trying to talk it out with him or just tell him that if he keeps acting like this I'm going to reconsider our living arrangements (and possibly relationship?) I just don't really know what to do, he's my only long-term SO and any ad
    via u/raplantmom
  • 08
    Organism - Secure_SeaLab · 3d Seems like it was easy for him to move in, so l'm sure it'll be easy for him to move out. G Reply 4 474 3 Real_Cake_hmm · 2d Correct!!! 4 10 3 ...
    via u/raplantmom
  • 09
    Rectangle - WildlyUninteresting · 3d "No. I like them." Simple. G Reply 1 1.1k 3 ...
    via u/raplantmom
  • 10
    Font - TheBestThrowAway916 · 3d Tell him if the plants go, you go with them. G Reply 817 raplantmom OP • 3d yeah... I might be overthinking this. He really is nice (was?) but if this is how he's going to act when he doesn't like something I can't imagine what he's going to be like when I actually have real disagreements with him. Thanks for the advice- if we get into this tussle again I think I'm just taking the easy route and saying something along these lines to him. 600
    via u/raplantmom
  • 11
    Font - Anseranas • 3d He's trying to assert himself and his refusal to talk is because he knows his position is unreasonable. The plants aren't actually the issue, he just wants to 'win' even if it disadvantages you. He doesn't like his living situation? He can leave. Personally I would kick him out because his character is questionable. G Reply 4 85 3
    via u/raplantmom
  • 12
    Smile - GachaWimp · 3d He is taking up valuable plant space. Perhaps replace him with (and treat yourself to) a Monstera Albo. G Reply 4 548 3 ...
    via u/raplantmom
  • 13
    Rectangle - LunaGato · 3d First its the plants, then its the pets. These are all red flags. He's testing you to see if you will give up things that you love for him. Classic control tactic. G Reply 1 64 3
    via u/raplantmom
  • 14
    Rectangle - DetailEquivalent7708 · 3d The plants are making oxygen. What benefit does he bring that can't be duplicated or bettered by an inanimate object? G Reply 4 114 3 ...
    via u/raplantmom
  • 15
    Font - redrumpass · 3d From the plant perspective. My SO is studying to be an electrician so half the living room and other parts of the house (2 room ap) are filled with electric stuff, some trashy but useful and a lot of more voluminous electrical stuff. I am happy and I bring him more when I find them, because it's his thing and something he enjoys. I offered to arrange his stuff with him, when it bothered me (oh the clutter!) and it's better now. If he knows plants are your thing, he could h
    via u/raplantmom
  • 16
    Font - DinoMaster365 · 3d Not gonna lie as a plant mom with 35plus plants l'm horrified! My husband was reading this along side of me and was baffled. I collect plants for the same reason, seeing something grow immensely helped my mental health and he supports me and helps me care for my plants (as long as he doesn't water them). Keep your plants, he's acting like an enticed child. Drop him and get yourself a string of turtles. It sounds like a power play on his part G Reply + ...
    via u/raplantmom

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